Chopped Liver

My darling little cats are Daddy's girls. Phoenix has a schedule that completely revolves around Kirby. She waits for him while he is in the shower in the morning so that she can lick his legs when he gets out. Once she is done, Faith runs to the Cat Tree so they can play and they all go to breakfast. They then go to the downstairs window so they can watch him leave for work. In the late afternoon, Phoenix starts pacing downstairs. If it gets too late, she starts to talk. If it gets way too late, Faith starts chewing paper. When he finally gets home, they rub against his legs and briefcase then follow him upstairs while they patiently wait for him to change and come downstairs. They then do "treats". Nothing but fresh deli meat for the little ones. They then have to be given fresh water and more pets. Before bed, it is crazy play time that involves a fishing pole and ribbon. They take turns playing with Dad. They get more pets. Phoenix waits for him while he takes a shower. She jumps on the bath mat when he is out so that he can pull her around the entire upstairs. They get more pets. When he gets into bed, Faith snuggles next to him. In the middle of the night, Phoenix wakes me up (always jumps up on my side of the bed) and I have to wake Kirby up to lift the covers so she can snuggle too.

Kirby is out of town. Evidently, my legs can dry themselves. I eat breakfast by myself. I am not able to "be the ribbon" so playing is out. I don't see them after dinner and I found one of them sleeping on the floor next to the bed yesterday. The other was in a whole other room. I feed and water them. I clean their litter box. I give them treats. But, I'm not Daddy. I'm really bad unedible chopped liver even for a Cat.